


Dragon Slayer

by HookLineSinker5



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Prince "Charming" James Friendship, Drinking, Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, Hallucinations, Humor, Marijuana, Storybrooke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HookLineSinker5/pseuds/HookLineSinker5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma receives a call from Mary Margaret to check on David. Upon her arrival, she learns just how out of control "Brotime" has gotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dragon Slayer

Emma trudged up the stairs to the loft after a phone call from her mother stating that David sounded a bit off. Mary Margaret was out with Neal on some sporadic play date with Robin Locksley, his son Roland, and his daughter Pistachio for the evening, so she had no other choice than to offer to go and check in on him.

She rapped on the door and waited patiently. There was a crash and a yell before the door swung open to reveal an overwrought looking Captain. “Swan.” Killian greeted breathlessly. He seemed quite stunned at her presence, which made her question what was really going on beyond that door.

“Why are you here?” she asked suspiciously. Putting two and two together, she sighed with a roll of her eyes, “What did you do?”

“Wha- why is it automatically my fault? Just because I'm a pirate, love, doesn't give the right to assume that I had anything to do with it.” he stated as he shuffled his stance to keep her from peering around his shoulder.

Emma smirked as she folded her arms. “Anything to do with what?”

“Just covering my bases, Swan.” he flashed a smile before holding out his hand towards her, “Not that I don't enjoy your company,” he raised a brow, “But why exactly are you here?”

Her face fell at his stupid question. “S-seriously? In case you somehow stumbled upon some memory curse, this is my parents’ loft? I think that's more than enough reason for my showing up.”

He rubbed the spot behind his ear as he once again stepped in front of her as she tried to enter. “Fair enough. But for what purpose?”

“You can't sleep forever you beast! Come and fight!”

Emma's eyes narrowed, staring down the man before her. He brought up his hand and his hook to stop her from the verbal attack that he knew was just moments away from happening. “Now, hold on. This may sound bad, but-”

“Bad? That's really the word we're going to use here?” They both jumped at the sound of a crash and glass shattering. Killian sighed deeply, lowering his arms back down, eyes closing in exasperation. Emma on the other hand, glared daggers right into his soul. “What the hell is going on in there?!”

“Now, before you come in yelling,” he started. “I had no idea that your father was such a lightweight.”

“You got him drunk?!” she yelled in accusation.

“No.” he corrected with a raised finger. “He got himself drunk. I was just here to witness it.”

“Idiot.” she pushed past him and froze at the sight of the trashed apartment and David wielding an umbrella as a makeshift sword. He sliced through the air and hit the couch, time and time again.

Killian had come up behind her and whispered, “Thinks the bloody thing's a dragon.”

“Playing dead, I see? How very clever.” David laughed and swiped at it again. “I've fought your kind before!”

“How much did he have?” she asked in shock. “He's completely out of it! Oh man…. Mary Margaret's gonna kill you.” she waited a brief moment before muttering, “Again.”

“Me?! What did I do?!”

She threw her hands towards David's swaying frame just as he jumped over the coffee table. He proceeded in flipping it over to use as a makeshift shield. Emma looked to Killian with pursed lips and stern features. “Really? You're going to ask that?”

“I told you! He did it to himself. He's the one who phoned me and-”

“Woah, wait.” she turned her body towards him as she folded her arms across her body. “He voluntarily called you over? For what?”

“A drink. Said he wanted… what was that term he used?” he looked towards the ceiling in thought as his hand rolled around. “Oh! Yes! ‘Bro Time’? Whatever the blazes that means.”

“So, you're expecting me to believe that David Nolan, the guy who punched you in the face, called you…. for Bro time?” she asked in disbelief.

“Why is that so hard to believe? I'm quite charming. I can't help it if you have to fight your own father for time with this devilishly handsome man.” his smolder was on full display as he raised his brow.

“Princess Emma’s here!” David slurred as he fought to get to his feet.

Killian glanced over Emma's shoulder, biting his lip. “Sorry milady. Don't want to keep you from your royal duties.” he bit back a laugh as he backed away towards the kitchen.

She glared at him the whole way before slowly turning and giving a false smile. “Hey, dad.” she greeted slowly. “How ya feelin’?”

“Never better!” he went to lean on the umbrella, but it slipped out from underneath of him causing him to fall to the floor. “Back you beast!” he yelled to the couch, half heartedly jabbing the cushions. “Such trickery!”

A puff of air escaped her lips as she turned back around, joining Killian at the kitchen counter. “This is just from rum?” she asked pulling a plate of brownies towards her.

“Aye. That's all. He also indulged in a few of these in between glasses. Henry gave them to me. Claimed they were specially made, but they don't seem to be much different than any other.” He plucked one from the plate and brought it to his mouth, ready to bite.

Emma's eyes widened and smacked the chocolate treat from his hand. “Are you kidding me?!” she picked the brownie from the counter and took the plate throwing everything away. “That kid is grounded indefinitely.” she muttered. “How did he-?” noticing the shocked and confused face Killian was giving her, she had no choice but to explain. “You fed Prince Charming pot brownies?” she asked point blank.

“No? I can assure you there are no pots in those chocolates. Have you gone mad?”

With a roll of her eyes she put her head in her hands. “Not pots. Pot. Weed. It's something here in this world that makes you all loopy and giggly and crave weird concoctions. When consumed it can make you hallucinate. Obviously, it makes David see-”

“I have a dragon in my living room!” David started, bursting with laughter as he fell onto the couch.

“Dragons.” she finished with a sigh.

“Oh!” he started laughing and nodded in understanding. “I've had many of that in my day. We had a far better name for it, of course. It was call-”

“Not important. How do we fix this?” she asked, dropping her arms to the counter. “Mary Margaret will be home any minute and we have a stoned and drunk Prince on our hands.”

“Who wants tacos? I want some tacos.” David rolled to his side and off the couch, but instead of getting to his feet, he continued rolling.

“Oh… my… gods.”

“Swan, I don't think we can fix this one.” he chuckled. He placed his hand over his mouth when a look was shot in his direction.

“You know what's a funny word to say? Chimichangas. They're like tacos but bigger.” he laughed. “Chimichangas. Chimi. Changa. Chimi. Changa. Chimi. Changa. I want those now. Let's get those! Big pile of rice and cheese sauce!”

“Great.” Emma deadpanned. “You know what?”

“What?” David and Killian asked simultaneously.

With a wave of her hand, his hook was in her possession. She held it up and stepped closer. “I'm gonna-”

“Magic? You have magic! Is this real life?”

Killian and Emma both turned to David who was sitting up, legs crisscrossed, and eyes wide like an excited child. Taking the chance to grab his hook back, Killian plucked it from her hand and twisted it back into place.

This evening couldn't get any worse.

The two of them had finally managed to get him seated, without tumbling off of the stool, while they contemplated their next move.

“He needs to eat something.” Emma finally stated.

“Chimichangas!” David slurred out.

“No!” They both stated at the same damn time.

“But-” he began pouting before his head fell forward on the counter.

“Eh, mate?” Killian nudged him with his hook and got a grunted response. “Great. A grown man throwing a tantrum. What do you expect we do now?”

“I don't know.” she groaned, putting her head in her hands. “We need to feed him. Maybe it'll soak up some of the rum.”

“I can't cook, love. And you certainly can't either. I've seen you set fire to a bowl of Lucky Charms.”

Emma slowly turned her head and glared, “For the last time, I was sick! I sneezed and the damn bowl exploded!”

His smile was as wide as could be as he gave a wink, “Whatever you say, Swan.”

“Can we get back to the issue in front of us?” she pushed away from the counter and began rummaging through the cupboards. Killian took to the fridge and together they managed a sandwich. “Here. Eat this.”

David looked up and crinkled his nose. “It's not a chimichanga.”

“Just eat the bloody sandwich!” Killian argued.

“I don't want a sandwich!” David pushed the plate away and attempted to move from the stool, when he slid to the floor again.

“What the hell!” Emma sighed in frustration as she held up her hands and closed her eyes.

“Emma? What are you doing?” Killian asked.

“Shh!” she relaxed her shoulders and felt the magic overtake her. She scrunched her face and pushed her hands forward as she attempted to conjure up a plate.

Killian smirked as he rubbed the back of his ear. “Well, it was a nice attempt. But I don't think he wants Lucky Charms, either.”

She peeked through her lashes and deflated. “Oh, come on! That's not even-”

“Hey. Look at the bright side of things. They didn't explode this time.” Killian smiled when she threw a threatening look his way.

“Let me try again.” She shook out her hands and cleared her throat as she centered herself for another go. The familiar rush of magic was felt before-

“Hungry, Swan?” he asked sarcastically.

“Dammit!” she moved the grilled cheese aside and tried again.

“Ah, onion rings!” he took one from the plate and bit into it. “Crispy.”

“Shut up.” she grumbled.

“I think your focus is off.” he pointed to the ice cream sundae she had just conjured and smirked. “Ice cream isn't what I had in mind for dessert.”

“Come on! One last time….” she cleared her mind of all distractions, and food items that weren't chimichangas, and attempted one more time.

“Is that… whatever the bloody hell that thing is called?” Killian asked pointing to the messy plate holding a burrito.

“Yes! I did it!” she jumped into Killian's arms, planting a kiss on his lips.

His arm wrapped instinctively around her waist and pulled her into him. “Good work, Emma.”

“Thank you! Now I just have to get him to eat it.” she moved around the counter and threw her arms up at the sight of a sleeping David. “Really?”

“What's wrong?”

“He passed out!”

“That's a bad thing?”

“Well… no, but-”

“If this is about impressing your father with your magical burrito summoning skills, now’s not the time to do it.”

“I guess…. Give me a hand?”

“That's all I have.”

They finally managed to get David into bed and situated before relaxing on the couch among their buffet of food. Emma had managed some coffee and there they sat, sipping away with her legs crossed over his and nibbling at the sundae.

“So, eh-” Killian started after taking some of the whipped cream on his finger. “Is that how ‘Bro Time’ usually is?”

Emma giggled and licked the back of the spoon, bringing vanilla ice cream into her mouth. “Not exactly.”

“For the record.” he took the whipped cream into his mouth and glanced over at Emma. “I had this situation under complete control before you arrived.”

She scoffed a response. “Right.”

It was silent for a moment before Killian leaned toward her, brow raised seductively. “You know, Swan… there's another dragon in need of slaying.”

How could that statement not earn a giggle? Pulling on the lapels of his jacket, their lips barely touched before the door opened. Mary Margaret gasped in surprise and quickly turned away. “Oh my! I'm so sorry!” They separated immediately, Killian rubbing the back of his ear and Emma returning to the ice cream. “How was David? Did you figure out what was wrong? Why was he acting so strange?”

“He's right as rain, love. Nothing to worry about.”

“The boys had a few drinks and dad couldn't hang.” Emma added. “How was the play date?”

“Oh, it was great! Roland had a blast! Little P was too cute and- Where did all of this food come from?”

“Me.”

“You controlled your magic? Emma, that's wonderful!” she hurried over to give her a hug but stopped when she noticed something different. “What happened to my lamp?!” she asked readjusting Neal in her arms. “That was my favorite lamp! And the coffee table is scratched! My umbrella is bent….”

“Well-” Emma started. “Uh…”

“There was this dragon….” Killian quickly added.


End file.
